Worried.

I'm very worried. I took my own advice and met with my OBGYN last week. Since my miscarriage in July, I've had four cycles. Four very irregular cycles. Lots of breakthrough bleeding and patterns leading me to question whether or not I even ovulated. So I decided it was time to see my doctor.

I have several years worth of charted cycles so I carried my portfolio to my doctor's appointment.She patiently reviewed them all with me, and when the appointment was over, I had orders in hand for a complete blood screen and a pelvic ultrasound. They called me with the results on the day before Thanksgiving:

Thyroids are normal. Ultrasound is normal. Hormones are abnormal.

The hormones that are supposed to be low are high: Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) is 29. Should be MUCH lower. Like below 10. And hormones that should be high are low: Estradiol or E2 is 21. Should be higher. They want me to test again in 6 weeks.

Like any normal concerned person, I came right home and turned to Google, a research session that resulted in very scary words like "menopause", "ovary/follicle failure", and "infertility". I was in tears. And the web search didn't really offer much comfort in the way of remedying the hormonal imbalance. I mean, there are some success stories, but many more unknowns.

I feel like my biggest fear is revealing itself right before my eyes. Like I'm slowly awakening in someone else's life. In this dark moment, I'm grasping these tiny pinholes of light:

1. All of the stories online about having hormones tested, the women were tested on Calendar Day 3 of their cycles. I was testing on CD 10. Could this make a difference?

2. My ultrasound came back normal. If something was seriously wrong with my ovaries, like if they were dying or drying up, could they see that on an ultrasound?

3. I was really sick the week before my appointment and blood test. I saw a doctor, was diagnosed with post nasal drip, and prescribed hydrocodone (I had a debilitating cough and wasn't able to sleep). On the bottle of this medication is a sticker that says, "pregnant women and women of child bearing age should consult a doctor". Could taking this medication have interfered with my test results?

4. Also, I had taken Advil and 800 mg Motrin in the days leading up to this test, could this medication have interfered with my test results?

5. Since my MC in July, I have really upped my cardio at the gym. In fact, the morning of my appointment and blood test, I pushed myself to run 4 miles on the treadmill. It was hard and I was exhausted! I was also doing a lot of cardio during my last cycle when I had all the breakthrough bleeding-- could all of this exercised affected my Estradiol levels, thus influencing the low levels on the day of the blood test?

6. Even though my MC was 4 months ago, it was ONLY 4 months ago. It was a very physically (and emotionally!) traumatic experience for my body and heart. Is it possible that I still need time to heal?

 The darkest part of all of this is the fact that I don't know what happened back in May when I first saw "Pregnant" on the screen of my home pregnancy test. I mean, a blighted ovum is typically a fluke, but giving my current scenario, could it have just been a warning sign of a much bigger issue?! God, I hope not.

It really sucks that the 6 weeks I have to wait this out are during the Holiday season. I don't feel like I can enjoy this time while internally, I'm struggling to manage all the anxiety and fear I have for my reproductive future. For the next several weeks I feel like I should back off of all the exercising I've been doing and see if it helps my estradiol levels. I'm also going to make an appointment for a consultation with an Acupuncturist. He has a history of treating infertility so if there is anything he can do to help me with my body's hormonal imbalance, I need to explore that option. I'm also wondering if temporarily going on birth control pills might help?  I've seen things here and there about certain supplements women have taken to help both FSH and E2 levels. Stuff like wheatgrass and DHEA. Right now I'm currently taking prenatal vitamins and a B6 supplement (B6 because I read that it helps lengthen Luteal phase).

I guess I have a lot of questions for my doctor if in 6 weeks my blood test has similar results.

Endless Cycles.

My cycles are really freaking me out. I'm on day 22 of my 3rd cycle post mc, and I've bled off and on for ALL 22 days! Not spotting-- not dark brown old blood, but bright red new blood. Real flow blood. My temperatures have followed no real pattern. And every day I bleed, I also have mild menstrual cramping/discomfort.. and my anxiety runs high!

I thought I was worried last cycle, when I had two back-to-back 7-day periods and I couldn't tell for 100% certainty whether or not I ovulated! This month, a close friend recommended I try using ovulation prediction sticks and ovulation was 99% confirmed for this cycle.. but knowing ovulation occurred doesn't make up for a far-from-text-book cycle chart! Seriously, I should have scanned it so you could see! Next time! My concerns:

1. no defined temperature shift/or very slow gradual rise post ovulation
2. very low temperatures-- all below 98
3. frequent breakthrough bleeding with mild cramping

I made an appointment to see my OBGYN. I'm meeting with the NP tomorrow at 1045 where I plan to present 2 years worth of charting to show that 1) I know what I'm doing, 2) I know my body, and 3) something is wrong. I'm hoping to get another blood test-- all the googling I've done on my charts has scared me into thinking I could have thyroid issues or that pregnancy hormone number I was tested on weekly right after the miscarriage-- maybe it's not what it's supposed to be?! Whatever the problem may be,  I hope to get some answers tomorrow!