Rage.

The past couple of weeks have been.... challenging. I have serious 'Doctor Rage'. Last time I wrote, I had just had a visit with my GYN for a second opinion. I left that appointment with the understanding that she was interested in my case; that she was going to spend some time reviewing my history (lab results/ultrasound results); and that she was going to consider some additional testing for my 'condition'. I also understood to expect a phone call from her about which labs to complete before our next appointment. So after a few days past, and I hadn't heard anything, I called the GYN's office to get the scoop. Typical response: "I'll leave a note for the doctor to call you". No call. So I call the lab to see if they have received any orders for me: nope. Another few days pass, still no word, so I call the GYN again. Same response: "I'll leave a note for the doctor to call you". Still no call.

When I show up to my follow-up appointment, the conversation goes something like this:
Receptionist: Did you do your labs?
Me: uh, no. I called here twice about that and got no information. And the lab didn't have any orders for me.
Receptionist: Hmm.. well before I take your co-pay, let me go check on that.
Me: Well, I need to see the doctor today. My husband took off work to attend this appointment so he could hear the discussion with the doctor.

I paid my co-pay. And when the nursing assistant called me back, she asked if I brought my prior medical records!! WHAT?! YOU all were supposed to get those! I signed release forms last time I was here! You mean, these whole two weeks, the doctor hasn't been reviewing my history?!! So they called my OB right then, had my file faxed, and asked ME to hand them to the doctor during our visit.

Several minutes later, picture me and my husband quietly waiting in a patient exam room, the doctor walks in and says, "Okay, why are we here today?" With a tight throat, I said, "remember, we spoke a couple of weeks ago. My hormone levels are outside normal range. My FSH is 28":
Doctor: Oh, right, well that's why you're not having your period.
Me: No. I have my period.
Doctor: Oh, well that's why you aren't ovulating.
Me: No. I'm ovulating.
Doctor: Let me look at these labs real quick.
(several painful minutes pass)
Doctor: If these results are accurate, they suggest that you are going through menopause.
Me: I know.
Doctor: I need to refer you to a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

Seriously?! You couldn't tell me this two weeks ago?! I'm on a time table here, you just wasted my time, and my money!! I'm furious!

By some miracle, I was able to get in to see the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) the very next morning. What a different experience! I wish my OB would have referred me to one back in November when my hormone levels were first observed out of normal range! The office is all inclusive, meaning if they need bloodwork, they do it there-- or if they need ultrasounds, they do them there! And the doctor talks to you IN HIS OFFICE! What a concept! Across from a desk, not in the patient exam room! The doctor who took my case is very nice. He's an older man, Dr. R. He used to head up the Reproductive Medicine Dept. at University of Florida. I haven't had a male doctor in a long time; while it's somewhat awkward to be 'felt up' by an older man, it's kind of refreshing. And I need that right now.

Dr. R ordered blood work. He wanted to re-test all of my hormone levels. And additionally, he performed an ultrasound. HE did, not a technician. During my ultrasound, he noted that my right ovary, the one I recently ovulated from, had very few follicles, like 1 or 2-- when they should see 6-10. This might indicate low egg reserve. Most of my blood results are in (with the exception of the tubes sent to CA for genetic testing), the blood was taken on CD 10, similar to my results in November so I have something to compare them to:

FSH: 4.7 (29.4 in November 2012)
E2: 88 (21 in November 2012)
LH: 3.4 (not taken in Nov 2012)
AMH: <0.16 (not taken in Nov 2012)

I'm SHOCKED at the difference in FSH scores! Even in January, my FSH test was 28!! So that all appears to be great news. However, AMH- Anti-Müllerian hormone was much lower than the doctor expected. This particular hormone (according to Dr. Google) gives an estimate of ovarian egg reserve and 'normal range' is >1.0. Dr. R felt my recent blood profile is conflicting and wants me to test on my upcoming CD3. I'm expecting my period to start any day now, which means I could test as soon as this week. 

Funny thing about my period this cycle: I ovulated an full 7/8 days sooner that what's typically 'normal' for me. Typically, I ovulate around CD 15-17, this cycle, I ovulated on CD7-- RIGHT after my period ended. Very strange. I had a horrible cold, so could it have been due to all the cold medication I was taking? Could that had also influenced the super low AMH score?! 

After those two days, I was an emotional wreck going into my Acupuncture appointment on Wednesday. I asked for the 'big guns' for stress and anxiety. Of course, I didn't know the results of the blood work then (I found out those results yesterday), but being frustrated with my GYN visit, and my husband and I not being on the same page concerning having another baby right now (whole other story!!!), I simply needed help. And I still do. All of these things are very scary: the doctor visits, the discussions at home, the impending doom of being menopausal at age 32! I even asked Dr. E (Acupuncturist) to borrow back the Randine Lewis book, "The Infertility Cure" just to help calm myself. and I saw my Primary Care Physician yesterday to talk about emotional health resources and she gave me some names of counselors to call. 

And, with all of these things going on in my life, none of which I can control, I took up something I can control. Wheatlessness. Wheat free eating. And that, too, is a conversation for a different. day.