The end.

I saw my OB yesterday. It was a follow up appointment to last Thursday's ER trip. And it was the first time I met my OB face-to-face (Long story short: I switch OBs from the one I saw during my first pregnancy and I had only ever seen the NP with this pregnancy). Monday had been a rough day. I had lots of pain: cramping and menstrual aches; and I bled more than previous days, but by Tuesday at my OB visit, an internal exam showed my cervix closing and very little blood. And today, Wednesday, I haven't bled at all! Could this nightmare be over?!

I couldn't leave the doctor appointment without doing some blood work. The OB needs to measure my pregnancy hormone and that number needs to be less than 5. If the results come back and the number is greater than 5, then I'll need to do blood work once a week until the number decreases to less than 5, and depending on how high the number is, there might be some concern about my uterus not being 'clean' enough and further tests (i.e. ultrasound) to help understand why my body thinks it's still pregnant.

I'm feeling pretty good though. I think I'll be surprised if the bloodwork still shows a significant pregnancy hormone measurement.

One negative side effect I'm dealing with though is insomnia. I can't sleep. At first I thought it was because of all the pain medication I was taking, so I stopped for a few days to cleanse my system. Then Monday night, I was so exhausted and I had a lot of anxiety leading up to Tuesday morning's OB appointment, that I opted to take two Percosets in an attempt to get a good night's sleep. And boy did I ever! Almost too good.. they quieted my mind and calmed my emotions so I rested easy that night. I know how people get addicted to that stuff now. So I didn't take any last night and I was up until after 1230 and wide awake again at 4am. What's more unfortunate, is when I'm able to close my eyes, I have nightmares about losing my son so even the little sleep I get is stressed. I'm exhausted now and although I really want to go home and take two Percosets to zone out and help me forget everything I've gone through, I won't. Hopefully I can convince myself that this chapter in my life is over and move on to happier memories.